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How to ask for a collaborative divorce

If this is your first experience asking for a divorce, you may feel intense dread. After all, the unknown is frightening territory. Even if you are in your second or third marriage, asking for a divorce can still be daunting. Each experience is unique to the situation and the couple.

Perhaps deciding on divorce has been a long, emotional road. Now that you are sure, you may have to share the unwelcome news with a spouse who has no idea you feel this way—or how your marriage is about to go sideways.

Do your homework

When you want to sell a computer desk online, do you merely post a blurry picture, the price and your phone number? Good luck. Selling online requires some effort on your part. You would post clear photos of the desk with at least one view of any defects, and you would provide measurements, product age, and even some alternate-use ideas. Good information attracts buyers. Asking for a collaborative divorce is no different.

Understand collaborative divorce for beginners

Once you have done the hard part of asking for a divorce, collaborative divorce is easy to explain. It can simplify divorce and guide families through the process with as little confrontation as possible. So that is a bonus for everyone concerned. You do not need a legal degree to explain the benefits to your spouse. Just choose a few of the simple points below about the advantage of collaborative divorce to get started: 

  • The goal is to achieve a fair and mutual benefit.
  • Open-minded negotiation takes place in informal meetings.
  • You each have your own attorney.
  • You all meet together with your attorneys alongside you to discuss what each person wants.
  • You both understand and agree there will be compromise in some areas.
  • If difficulties arise, you can bring in a legal mediator skilled at helping couples reach an accord.
  • Collaborative divorce can help your children, as it may lessen parental tension.
  • Your team will work toward fairness and agreement. 
  • Neutral specialists can rotate in to help you with sticking points regarding asset division or child custody.
  • You will not need to go through stressful and expensive litigation.
  • You will avoid going to court.

With a little information and a sincere desire that both you and your spouse can work together amicably, your discussion will be off to a good start. Do not expect to answer all questions or resolve concerns in one session. To minimize stress, keep talks somewhat brief. When the time seems right, you may want to learn more from a professional in collaborative marital dissolution.

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