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6 tips to help you and your ex get along

One of the keys to divorce mediation is simple: You and your spouse, who will soon be your ex, need to cooperate. You need to get along. You need to be civil and work together.

You do not have to be in love. You do not even have to be friends. But you need to know how to put your differences aside and work together toward a divorce resolution.

This can be hard to do. Below are six tips that may help:

  1. Put your children ahead of yourself. Remember that working together can help you craft the best custody agreement for them, and that should be your goal.
  2. Seek patience every step of the way. This process can grow uncomfortable and frustrating. Do not make it worse by getting angry easily.
  3. Talk about your new relationship. What boundaries do you want to have? How should you interact?
  4. Never resort to insults. Even if you feel that what you are saying is justified, keep it to yourself if it may hurt the mediation process. It's all right to feel angry, but do not let it jeopardize everything else.
  5. Remember that the children aren't bargaining chips. Don't use them like they are.
  6. Focus on projecting a soothing, calm demeanor. Talk quietly. Even if the other person acts aggressively or angrily, do not respond in kind. Try to defuse the situation and bring the stress level down. Control your emotions.

Divorce mediation offers you a number of options that you may not get by going to court, so make sure you know how the process works and what rights you have.

Source: Psychology Today, "10 Tips for Getting Along Better with Your Ex," Barton Goldsmith, accessed April 06, 2018

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