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Tips for communicating when you're mad at your spouse

You and your spouse are splitting up, and you want the divorce mediation process to go smoothly. You just want this situation to end.

One of the keys, then, is to work hard to communicate effectively, no matter how you feel. Below are some tips that can help when you're frustrated or angry with your soon-to-be ex.

1. Plan for conversations to be difficult.

Don't sit down thinking you won't run into any difficult topics. If you do that, you'll be frustrated when things get hard. Instead, plan for the difficulties. Expect them and be ready for them. If you do, the exact same conversation will be much more productive.

2. Keep your perspective.

Focus on the things that are important and the positives, rather than the negatives. No, things aren't going exactly how you hope at every turn, but trust that it will work out. One important positive thing to focus on, for parents, is the kids. By working for their best interests, you have a positive goal and that can reduce your negative feelings.

3. Be patient and respectful.

Don't lash out in anger. It just makes the situation worse. It increases tension and causes more problems. Talk respectfully to your spouse. Be calm and patient. Take a moment to breathe before making an angry, hurtful remark. You'll find that this often influences your spouse to do the same when he or she sees how you are acting.

In a perfect world, you and your spouse would just agree on everything, but these tips can help you when that doesn't happen. As you keep them in mind, make sure you also know what legal rights you have.

Source: Well Doing, "How To Communicate When You're Angry," Dennis Relojo, accessed Aug. 18, 2017

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