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Don't compare your divorce settlement with anyone else's

This time of year, most people are doing more socializing than usual. This involves office Christmas parties, holiday soirees with friends and school holiday functions. If you're going through a divorce, you'll likely find no end of well-meaning advice from people you barely know as well as stories of other people's divorces.

It's understandable to start comparing your own settlement with those obtained by other people. However, that can be a bad idea. Everyone's divorce is different. The important thing is to get a settlement with which you are comfortable. This is true for property division, spousal support and child support and custody.

Just because an acquaintance says she got every penny she could out of her husband or another one got the boat so that her husband couldn't take his new girlfriend sailing, those things shouldn't necessarily be your goal. Often, a high level of animosity between spouses can drive them to fight for things that other couples settle on amicably so that they can move on.

That doesn't mean that you should settle for less than you feel you need and deserve. It's important to educate yourself on your state's divorce laws. It's also essential to discuss with your attorney what you need as you leave the marriage and what you're willing to let go in order to get out of an unhappy and possibly toxic relationship.

It's best not to discuss the terms of your divorce with other people. You can't compare your divorce with anyone else's. However, if you believe, after talking with someone else, that you're not getting a deal that you feel is fair, let your attorney know so that he or she can work to get you what you need and want.

Source: Huffington Post, "Why It’s Really Bad To Compare Your Divorce To Other Divorces," Jackie Pilossoph, accessed Dec. 21, 2016

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