Sometimes when couples decide to divorce, friends and even family members are taken aback because they saw no outward signs. Often, the signs of trouble in a marriage are subtle. In fact, sometimes couples drift apart without even realizing it until it's too late.
Following are some indications of a troubled, unsatisfying marriage. If they recognize them, couples can work on them to turn things around. However, after they've done that, they sometimes come to realization that they would be happier apart.
-- Holding onto resentment: Sometimes couples believe that they have dealt with an issue, but in reality, one or both haven't let it go or forgiven their spouse. It continues to crop up in every fight. Only when you've truly forgiven your spouse can you be happy again in the marriage.
-- Lack of connection: Sometimes one or both partners feel lonely even when they're together. That's easier to do than ever now. Who hasn't seen a couple in a restaurant immersed in their phones and barely interacting? Recognizing the problem is a big key to solving it. Resolve to spend some time together each day just talking, with no phones, tablets or TV.
-- Not arguing: That may sound like a good thing, but it's normal to disagree on things, sometimes strongly. When couples no longer care enough about their relationship to argue, it's a bad sign. You don't have to go looking for conflict, but it's important to speak up when you're unhappy or angry.
While some people on the outside of your marriage may not see these as reasons to end it, these issues can in fact lead to a great deal of unhappiness. The good news is that when a marriage wasn't a high conflict one or there wasn't one overriding event, like an affair, that ended it, couples can often settle their divorces amicably. They might be good candidates for divorce mediation, which makes the relationship transition an easier one and helps people preserve some type of friendly relationship in the future -- something that's essential if you have children.
Source: Huffington Post, "The 6 Most Overlooked Reasons People Get Divorced," Brittany Wong, June 27, 2016