It makes sense that we talk about divorce from a legal standpoint on this blog because a divorce basically involves a legally binding contract and a lot of details that are similar to business transactions. But at the heart of the matter, there are a lot of emotions brewing. Individuals don’t often jump into a divorce hastily. Some people think it over for months or even years before they finally decide to file the papers.
One of the strongest emotions that may rear its ugly head during and after divorce is guilt. If you are the one who decided to end the marriage, you may be feeling guilty. This can be especially true if there was no drastic reason, such as infidelity, that caused the breakup of the marriage.
Someone going through divorce may feel as though they didn’t try hard enough or that they are breaking up the family. A divorce attorney recently discussed the topic of guilt in a Huffington Post article. She encourages people to look at guilt in a different light.
First, it’s important to remember that guilt is often felt when someone thinks they have done something wrong or bad. Unfortunately, that guilt can make you think that you yourself are wrong or bad for making the decision to file for divorce.
In divorce there really isn’t a right or wrong, per say, she explains. It is a decision that one makes with the information they have. It may not feel 100 percent right, but it may be what you need to do in order to feel happy again. She explains that a lot of that guilt comes from an idea that many of us have been fed since we were young – that marriage is forever and that you will live happily ever after. The reality is much different in many cases. It’s important to realize that divorce is whatever we make of it. If you feel you have done your best and now have to move on, embrace it and let go of the guilt.