It's unlikely that any divorce is particularly easy, but most people can understand why a divorce that involves a child can be one of the most difficult. If there are no children involved, the spouses can part ways and never (or almost never) contact each other again unless they are working to untie a few loose ends. If there is a child involved, things get a lot trickier. Some parents can't wait until the child's 18th birthday because it is a sign that they are finally untied from their ex. But in reality, because you are both parents to your child, that tie may never really be gone.
With that being said, parents have to try to make the best of the situation. So what steps can they take in order to make the situation manageable for the long foreseeable future?
First, change your ex's name in your phone to "co-parent." It may sound silly but it has been really helpful for some parents. The idea is that it reminds you of the role the ex-spouse has in your life. This may help keep you from getting into emotion-driven conversations with him or her. The co-parent role reminds you that it's all about the children.
Next, get rid of the things in your home that remind you of your ex-spouse. This can be particularly difficult for those that are still emotionally attached or at least have some feelings for their ex. It might be easier to do with the help of a friend or family member. You may end up getting rid of things like a dress or suit you wore for a special occasion when you two were together, or souvenirs from a trip that the two of you went on.
In our next post we will continue this discussion and look at more ways to make divorce a little less stressful.