Our readers may often worry that divorce will hurt their children, but that's not exactly the case. It's not the divorce itself that can hurt your children, but more so how you handle the divorce and how you act after the divorce is final. The wonderful part about this statement is that the effect that the divorce has on the children is, for the most part, in the hands of the parents.
First and foremost, it's important that parents try to find an amicable way to divorce. Legal battles can hurt your child and can also force parents to become enemies. Parents should do their best to use methods such as divorce mediation in order to keep fighting to a minimum.
Throughout the divorce and especially after, parents should do their best to never fight in front of their children. This also goes for talking negatively about your ex-spouse in front of the children. If you think your child cannot hear you badmouthing your ex on the phone, think again.
It's also important that you support your child's relationship with their other parent. This is a lot easier said than done for some parents, but it is very important. This means talking positively about the other parent and allowing your child to do so as well. It's important to remember that you are not trying to win a popularity contest, and if you badmouth your ex or make your child feel guilty when they talk about them, that won't help you "win" in the long-run anyway.
Finally, be honest with your children about what is happening in terms of the divorce, but only tell them what they need to know. When you approach the topic of divorce, make sure both parents are involved in the discussion. From here on out, it's important to try to be on the same page about things that will impact your children.