In our last post we began a discussion on common divorce misconceptions. Yet another misconception that often keeps people from seeking divorce is the idea that divorce is harmful to children. While a divorce may be stressful for a child, it is not necessarily harmful. Research shows that children thrive in peaceful and stable environments. This means the level of "harm" really has to do with how the parents interact with their children and each other as opposed to whether or not they are actually married.
Another idea that some people have is that there is a way to divorce-proof your marriage. The fact of the matter is that you can only control how you act, not how your spouse acts. You may do everything you can on your end, but it is up to the other person to put in the same type of effort. Sometimes the best outcome for a marriage is truly divorce.
Many people also feel like being unhappy in a marriage means they need to get divorced. This is not always the case. In every marriage, there can be plenty of ups and downs. Keeping a marriage together is not contingent on being constantly happy. It is, however, important that couples are able to communicate and understand each other and seek counseling when it is appropriate.
Finally, and this is an interesting one, infidelity is not as huge of a cause of divorce as some people think. This may come as a shocker, but as one sociologist put it, "Infidelity does not break marriages up; it is the unreasonable expectation that a marriage must restrict sex that breaks a marriage up." He says that feeling like a victim due to casual sex outside of the relationship is a socialized feeling, not a natural outcome.