When those around you find out that you have decided to divorce, to them it may seem like a drastic decision. But in all likelihood, it wasn’t at all. Coming to the decision of filing for divorce can often take years if not decades of contemplation. A lot of people go through cycles where one day they are fed up and want a divorce and the next day they are hopeful that things will get better.
While it may be okay to stay in this back and forth mode for a couple who just grew apart, there are some situations that may warrant a divorce that should come sooner than later.
Sometimes people can get over one act of infidelity, but if a spouse is perpetually cheating on you, it may be time to move on. In the same breath, if your spouse is choosing to involve themselves in risky behavior such as addictions to gambling or drugs, it may also be best to choose divorce.
Another very prominent reason to divorce is if you or your children are being abused. It’s important to remember that there are many types of abuse and one is by no means greater than the other – they can all have an extremely negative effect. If there is continuous physical or emotional abuse and the spouse has no intent of seeking counseling or stopping this behavior, it may be a good idea to leave. This type of behavior can put you and your children at risk. The same can be said about lying. Perpetual lying can put your family at risk in many ways and can cause a lack of trust that cannot be repaired.
It may also be time to seek divorce if the two of you are not on the same life path anymore. For example, if you both decided to not have children when you got married but then you decide that you want to be a parent a few years into the marriage, this may become a nonnegotiable issue.
And last but not least, and this may be one of the hardest ones to come to terms with because of its lack of severity, if you feel like you are constantly trying to make the other spouse love you, it may be time to move on. Some spouses perpetually walk on eggshells to keep their spouse in love with them. They get to a point where they sacrifice their sense of self just to keep intimacy in the relationship.
Divorce is not an easy decision to make, but in many circumstances, it may be the right one.