Most of the time our blog focuses on matters related to the divorce process, but itâs also important to consider what may actually be the most important part for many divorcees: after divorce.
In a recent article, a divorce mediator who got divorced herself pointed out a few things that she wished she knew before she got divorced. As she explained, she thought she âwas more prepared than anyoneâ for what was going to happen, but that didnât turn out to be the case.
First, itâs wise to remember that not all problems are magically solved by divorcing. That is especially true if the two of you have children together. Although you are no longer married to your ex, you may still have to find ways to coexist peacefully.
Next, itâs important to remember that there is a lot of work to be done internally after divorce. This means learning to be happy alone before jumping into dating and learning to deal with emotions such as sadness, fear and anger. This is especially important if children are involved.
On the topic of children, they may not necessarily tell you how they feel about the divorce, but it may be evident in their actions. Keeping communication open about the topic even years after the divorce can be important.
Finally, donât be surprised if you lose some friends after divorce. A friendâs spouse may not want him or her to spend as much time with you or your friend may not invite you to couple-related events. Itâs a harsh reality that some divorcees face. On the other hand, you may be surprised who steps up to the plate and becomes more supportive than ever. This can also be a wonderful time to establish new friendships.
While itâs hard to really understand these issues before you experience them, it doesnât hurt to be prepared for what lies ahead.