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How you act during and after divorce is a choice (PART 2)

In our last post we started a discussion about how your actions during a divorce can affect you and your children. Those kids of yours are always watching, whether you want to believe it or not, so how you act will affect them - either negatively or positively.

Here's a good piece of advice: although you may feel helpless and emotional, your kids are not your therapist -- not at the age of 10 and not at the age of 20. Take this advice from a therapist in a recent online post: "Do not, under any circumstances, share the details of the derailment of the marriage with your children." This is a wise rule to follow.

You also have a choice to not put down your children's other parent in front of them. No one is asking you to forgive and forget within days of the divorce, but working toward that goal will benefit you and your children in the long run. Although you may not want to be around your ex, your children likely do. So no matter what has happened between the two of you, make a choice to find a common purpose: loving and caring for your children to your best ability. With that in mind, you may be able to form a better post-divorce relationship with your ex than you had while you were actually married.

Keeping your cool during divorce is easier said than done. Many individuals have found that having a strong support system throughout the process is critical. Your support system may likely include an experienced lawyer, a therapist, a financial planner and close family members or friends.

Source: The Huffington Post, "The 5 Musts of a Sane Divorce," Abby Rodman, Aug. 23, 2014

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