Divorce, much like many things in life, is a choice. And for most people, it is a rather difficult one to make. Sadly, some people still think that divorce is a quick copout to typical marriage woes, or a way to get a fresh start without really trying. But once a person actually has to make this tough decision for themselves, the true reality of the matter is often far different. As one therapist pointed out in a recent article, most caring and thoughtful people consider divorce long and hard before they actually decide to split.
With that being said, how your divorce unfolds may be a matter of choice as well. While we can't control how the other spouse acts during a divorce, we can control our own actions and emotions. This is especially important when children are involved. How a parent acts before, during and after the divorce will inevitably affect their child or children. So as is often said, if you can't act civil for yourself, do it for your kids.
In general, it's good to expect that you will not get everything you want in your divorce. Instead of reacting in anger and contempt, learn to face reality with a cool head. This more "tranquil" approach will benefit you and your family in the long run.
Also, try to avoid doing anything that you will later regret. If you think acting nasty or smearing your ex's name in public will hurt them, think again. While it may leave a bruise on your ex's ego, it could very well tarnish your reputation for years to come. Furthermore, it may tarnish the reputation of your children as well.
In our next post we will continue to discuss the benefits of keeping your dignity during and after your divorce.
Source: The Huffington Post, "The 5 Musts of a Sane Divorce," Abby Rodman, Aug. 23, 2014