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Divorce can affect how your children perceive love

In this post, we are continuing the very important issue of communicating with children during divorce. Proper communication can help a child cope with the feelings they have throughout the process.

While divorce can certainly change the parent-child relationship in terms of time spent together, parents undoubtedly continue to love their children just the same. But what some parents may not realize is that some children may start to question their love during and after the divorce. It’s good to have a conversation about this with your children. Explain to them that even though you and your ex-spouse live apart, it has no bearing on the love you feel for your children.

Divorce can also lead to misunderstandings of what love looks like. If one parent spends more money on a child than the other, kids may see that as a measure of love. Similarly, children may associate the amount of time spent with each parent with the amount of love the parent has for them. Children need to understand that each parent may show love in different ways and that some scenarios may just be the result of divorce.

Finally, children need to have a separate relationship with each parent. Although it may be tempting to pry, avoiding doing so can help a child feel secure and safe in the relationships they have with their parents.

There is a lot to consider in terms of children when filing for divorce, but in many cases, divorce can be a very positive experience for both parents and children. 

Source: The Huffington Post, “10 Things All Divorcing Parents Should Say To Their Kids,” Sophie Rosen, April 2, 2014

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