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Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Complex Divorce Blog

Reasons why a collaborative law divorce might not be successful

If you and your spouse are planning to divorce, you are probably researching ways to get the job done. The law today offers more options than ever before for couples to end a marriage. Collaborative law is one such method that can be less stressful for couples divorcing in Florida, but it might not work for everyone.

You may already be aware of the advantages of using the collaborative law method of divorcing. Some of these include negotiating in an informal setting, openly exchanging information, finding a speedy resolution and making decisions about how to address any potential disputes.

Divorce can harm retirement plans

Marriage is one of the biggest and most important decisions in life, and a lot of planning goes into a successful wedding as well as a marriage. It's difficult to imagine separating or divorcing, but the event takes just as much planning even if it is not as emotionally safe or happy.

Married and divorced parents alike can agree that the most important issue in a marriage or after one is the well-being of the children from a relationship. But one issue that all married people have in common is a concern for their own future.

Does mediation give an advantage to a dominant spouse?

One of the reasons people are sometimes nervous to go with divorce mediation, rather than going straight to court, is that they feel like their spouse will get an advantage.

Perhaps that spouse has a dominant personality. Maybe it's even the reason for the divorce. The other person worries that the spouse will push them around during mediation, making demands and fighting aggressively in a way that is hard to push back against. They worry that this could end in an unfair division of assets or time with the kids.

Do you need to give the wedding ring back?

Your husband gave you a ring when the two of you got engaged, and then you added a wedding band when you officially tied the knot. Now you have decided to get divorced, and your husband insists that you need to give it back.

After all, he bought it. It was just a gift that he gave you when he thought you would stay in his life forever. It cost him quite a lot -- more than either of you would like to admit -- and he does not want to lose that much money on a failed marriage.

How likely are you to get a divorce?

Although many marriages end in divorce, no couple thinks they will be part of that statistic. All intentions are "'til death do us part." How does what starts out as such a hopeful relationship end with a divorce order?

Numerous reasons exist for divorce, from infidelity to health problems. Yet, even without major events like these, divorce happens, perhaps because many smaller factors also play a role in the likelihood of you and your spouse splitting.

Study: Most children of divorce still have happy lives

Parents often worry about getting divorced -- not because they want to save the marriage or some romantic relationship -- but because they do not want the split to have a negative impact on the children. You may have heard the old cliche about "staying together for the kids." This is exactly what it refers to.

If you worry about that yourself, you should know that one study claims the vast majority of children whose parents get divorced do adapt well to their new living situation. They do not experience any permanent negative effects on mental health, social interactions, grades in school or other key areas that concern parents. In short, they still become the happy, well-adjusted kids that you want them to be. The study said that this was true for a full 80 percent of children.

Spending patterns may need to change after divorce

Divorce can change your life forever, and it does so on more than the emotional front or in terms of your personal relationships. It also has a drastic financial impact. You may have to change your spending patterns and your lifestyle to fit with this new stage in life.

Many people do not realize just how drastic this can be. For instance, one woman had a low-paying job that she loved, while her husband had a high-paying job that provided her with substantial income. They ended up getting divorced when he revealed that he had a mistress that he wanted to be with instead of his wife.

Tips to keep a divorce mediation conversation civil

One of the most important parts of the divorce mediation process is simply being able to have a civil conversation with your spouse about ending the marriage. Mediation keeps you out of court and gives you more control over your decisions, but you have to be able to work together to make those decisions. If you cannot do so, mediation will not succeed.

To that end, here are a few tips that can help:

  • Do not lie. Be honest about everything: Your income, the assets you control, what you hope your relationship with the children can be like and everything else. Honesty and trust make this work.
  • Never interrupt your spouse. Understand that you both get a chance to speak. Even if you do not agree with what your spouse is saying, give them that chance. You will get yours in return.
  • Keep your voice down. Stay calm. Many times, simply the tone of your voice can change how your spouse reacts to what you have to say.
  • Think carefully before saying anything. This is a complex process. The outcome will have a major impact on both of your lives. Never say anything lightly.
  • Never resort to insults. Do not even imply them. It does not matter if you think your spouse is to blame or you are frustrated to be getting divorced. Leave your emotions behind and focus on the decisions you need to make together.

The law sees pets as property, not family members

You think of your dog as a member of your family. You raised him since he was a puppy. You have a very close bond. You know how important being part of the pack is to a dog.

When you and your spouse decide to get divorced, you both assume that you'll still get to see the dog, just like you would if you had a child together. Won't the court respect that emotional connection that you have?

Female doctors should seriously consider prenups

Prenuptial agreements can make a lot of sense for doctors in general, whether they are male or female. However, female doctors in particular may really need them.

Why? They may be more likely to divorce than their male counterparts. The causes behind this divorce rate probably have to do with traditional gender roles that disrupt a woman's work-life balance. For example, a male doctor working long hours may have a wife who takes care of the children and who holds down the home. A female doctor, on the other hand, may be more likely to have a husband with his own out-of-home career, but she could still end up doing the bulk of household chores. This expectation may be her own, subconsciously, or both hers and her husband's. The research actually shows that a female doctor working more than 40 hours a week is one-and-a-half times more likely to divorce, while a male doctor working more than 40 hours is less likely to divorce.

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