Yet, experts continue to offer advice and counsel. The Diane Rehm Show on National Public Radio yesterday devoted an hour to the topic. The segment, entitled “Starting Over After Late-Life Divorce,” included interviews with Andrew Cherlin, a Professor of Sociology and Public Policy at Johns Hopkins University and author of “The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family Today”; Janice Green, a family law practitioner in Austin, Texas, and author of the book, “Divorce After 50: Your Guide to the Unique Legal and Financial Challenges”; and Abigail Trafford, a journalist, columnist, and former health editor at “The Washington Post” and author of “Crazy Time” and “My Time.”

The piece focused on how “many long-term married couples are making the decision to go their separate ways — possibly for another two or three decades.” The hour explored “the unique challenges and opportunities of late-life divorce.”

The lesson: As people live longer, late-stage divorce should not be such a surprise — and often comes with less acrimony. But planning remains important to ensuring everyone’s rights are protected.

According to a new book and its review on MSN, “Whether you are happily married now, or hoping to be one day, there’s one topic you’d probably rather not think about: divorce. Yet, most of us know at least one wedded couple who has split up. And then there’s that ominous 50 percent statistic, which often scares us into believing that a marriage’s survival is as subject to chance as whether a coin will flip heads or tails.”

The MSN writer spoke with licensed marriage and family therapist Shannon Fox and divorce attorney Celeste Liversidge, who authored the book Last One Down the Aisle Wins: 10 Keys to a Fabulous Single Life Now and an Even Better Marriage Later. In the story, they offer guidance on the seven worst deeds a divorcing couple can commit…

Read the entire article here.

They seemed like the model couple. They’d lived a life together that many married (and, honestly, divorced) people seemingly can only dream of. Of course, they’d had tragedy and illness. But they have money. They raised their children. They enjoyed politics at the highest echelon of the American system. They were ready to coast into their Golden Years – together.

Al & Tipper Gore in happier times.

The Wall Street Journal wrote how the Gores “have spent virtually their entire adult lives in the public eye and they have done it together. They presented themselves as a package,” the Speakeasy columnist wrote, “and the idea of their brand was sealed with a public kiss on the stage of the Democratic Convention in 2000.”

Then, in a not-too-uncommon and increasingly modern occurrence, they split.

Marriage therapists who work with older couples aren’t as surprised as the rest of us seem to be. We’re living longer. Many have the security of dual-income economics to now enjoy life apart. And desires that were stifled in deference to the family unit are more easily pursued and fulfilled once the nest has emptied. Therapists told the Journal, “…they’re less willing to spend their last decades with someone who leaves them unfulfilled. At the same time, working wives are less dependent on husbands for financial support, and husbands have Viagra and other new incentives to find other romances.”

Call it “the New Biology” – and the New Economics. Nothing has gone wrong. People are more robust in their later years, and they have just grown apart. People in their 50s, 60s, even their 70s are unwilling to go without – whether “without” means sexually, being personally fulfilled, or enjoying a more active lifestyle.

We’re seeing this in our family law practice, too. The most common warning signs are:

- Increasingly frequent disagreements. Not knock-down, drag-out arguments. They might even be amicable. It’s just that things are seen differently.

- One or both are miserable in the marriage. Satisfaction is gone. As needs change, so, too, do the dynamics of the relationship.

- Sex is unfulfilling – if it’s there at all.

- Free time might be spent with friends – or just in different rooms of the house.

For late-stage couples, equitable distribution of assets presents its own unique issues. Significant tax consequences may be involved. With the Gores, Al is earning income from book royalties and speaking fees. Tipper can expect to split those proceeds. While the source may be different, actively-employed, high net worth couples may have similar financial issues. Assets, property and income will need to be equitably divided.

Many family law attorneys attempt to treat late-stage marriage like a “normal” divorce. The non-working spouse may claim permanent alimony. Asset distribution – and the tax implications – may be more dramatic for both. This could require the involvement of a financial planner or tax advisor skilled in such cases.

Though the dollars may be less, even middle-income couples have concerns. Assets, retirement plans or pensions must be divided. Real estate has to be sold – or equitably shared. Credit card debt has to be addressed. And with earning capacity gone from those already in retirement, you’ll now be providing for two households.

The goal – for high net worth or middle income families – is to minimize the tax implications before getting on with your new life.

Watch and listen as family law attorney Barry Finkel discusses divorce and taxes with a local television news host.

For many, Facebook is a compelling and engaging social media network. For those facing divorce, Facebook, Twitter, even YouTube and Flickr are inviting places to share details about your experiences: your separation, social life, maybe new-found freedom and even “hot dates.”

All a family law attorney can advise is: Be careful what you post.

A recent article on Facebook, social media and divorce called Facebook and divorce a “flammable situation.” For good reason. The piece likened Facebook to marriage’s other bookend to eHarmony. “The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.”

People are finding old flames, pursuing new relationships, and posting juicy details and pictures about their dalliances and flirtations — and unwittingly giving their spouse’s divorce lawyer fuel to destroy their case and reputation in the case. Even a case for timesharing can be damaged: One parent posted his parental frustrations — details opposing counsel used against him.

Some 81 percent of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen more cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). “Facebook holds the distinction of being the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, with 66% citing it as the primary source,” the AAML wrote [ http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/big-surge-in-social-networking-evidence-says-survey-of-nations-top-divorce-lawyers-84025732.html ]. Following Facebook among survey respondents are MySpace (15%), Twitter (5%), and other social media services (14%).

With scrutiny — and the desire for evidence — heightened, examination grows more intense. Here’s how to enjoy social media without sabotaging your divorce case:

- Consider each post as your spouse, opposing counsel, mediator or judge might view it. Even status updates or comments you consider tame might seem tawdry to others.

- Avoid posting inappropriate images from dates or outings. Pictures tell tales you may prefer not be told. Even if otherwise innocent, they can be misinterpreted by a spouse on the hunt for evidence to support their case.

- Avoid flirtatious or questionable behavior in public. The combination of camera phones and Facebook can make even friendly encounters appear damning in the court of social media.

- When in question, don’t post. There will be plenty of time to enjoy — and post about — your single lifestyle once your divorce is final.

- Watch status updates about — or by — your kids. Spouses often monitor kids’ experiences with their other parent via social media. Frustrations vented by you or your kids can be used against you (even if taken out of context). Without appearing like a snooping parent, vet their updates to ensure you’re not cast in an inappropriate light.

Unlike other states, where juries may determine divorce, Florida law has judges — not juries — setting the outcome of divorce cases that go to trial. Many experienced judges understand how Facebook is a part of modern life, and may give wide interpretation to otherwise incriminating “evidence” counsel may present. To that end, spouses can hurt their own case by trying too hard to hurt the other.

It’s been said that discretion is the better part of valor. Enjoy your social media experience. Just beware how status updates may affect your marital status or case’s outcome.

And sometimes, after months or years of bad chemistry and a relationship turning sour, there is no surprise at all.

It’s in those situations – when you believe that separation or divorce might be coming – that it’s best to prepare for separation and divorce.

If you’re expecting to file for divorce from your spouse, or if you believe your spouse might be preparing to serve you with papers, here’s how to be prepared…

* Obtain originals or make copies of all vital financial records and documents. This includes statements for checking and saving accounts, investment and retirement accounts, real estate holdings, life insurance, tax returns, and other assets. Don’t expect that your spouse will make access to those documents simple.

* Plan how to tell the children. This is best done by both spouses, with no blame assigned, no financial issues discussed, and only the kids’ best interests in mind. Consider hiring a family counselor to assist in the process. It’s important to minimize the shock and maintain normalcy as much as possible.

* If you and your spouse anticipate remaining on good terms once separation has occurred and divorce proceedings are under way, discuss maintenance of bills during the process. Who will live in the residence? How will timesharing be worked out? The children remaining in the residence, if possible, can help keep their lives stable.

* Be familiar with your rights and responsibilities during and after a divorce. Every situation is different and it is a mistake to rely on the advice of your friends who have been through a divorce. While well meaning, those friends are not attorneys and more often than not, give bad advice.

Sometimes, divorce is unexpected. At other times, you can see it coming. Either way, maintaining a sense of normalcy – while protecting your best interests and those of your children – can heighten your chances for the least disruptive outcome.

Lost in much of the discussion is how this case likely would play out in divorce court. Moreover, this case provides various lessons in how marriage and divorce should be handled, regardless of whether the participants are celebrities.

While Ms. Nordegren apparently has pursued the counsel of Los Angeles divorce lawyer-to-the-rich and famous Sorrell Trope, there’s been no word of Mr. Woods’ counsel. If she has hired Mr. Trope, it’s advisable that Mr. Woods seek similarly high-caliber counsel.

If this marriage is destined to end in divorce, it’s likely that the case will be resolved quickly. Celebrity and athlete divorce can dramatically damage one’s public persona; paying more in a settlement in pursuit of expeditious closure often is advisable – and preferred over prolonged tabloid fodder.

Still, this could prove to be lengthy – and costly. Many have theorized on outcomes. From a divorce attorney’s perspective, the following are reasons for bringing this case to a quick end:

- Nip disclosure. This will keep a lid on disclosure; after all, anything entered into public record – including income, is open for all to see.

- Stop the presses. Once it’s final, the talk and pursuit by the paparazzi and tabloids likely will end – eventually.

- Tiger will be able to re-start his golf career. Once he’s on the golf course – and winning – again, many of his sponsors likely will come back on board.

The lessons of the Woods-Nordegren case should be strong and clear: Securing qualified legal counsel early on is an important act to ensure the party’s rights and interests are protected. While the presence of paparazzi and sponsors is uncommon among the common couple, quick closure often brings a chance to move on with one’s life.

The holidays are a festive time for a family to gather and spend memorable moments together – even if that family has been split by divorce.

Just plan ahead – and plan to cooperate.

“From Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanzaa, each family’s holiday traditions are different. The common thread is spending time together,” said Barry Finkel, a Fort Lauderdale, Florida, family law attorney. “As long as parents work together, the divorce settlement’s child custody or timesharing arrangement can be flexible enough to reflect and respect these differences and traditions.”

Follow these tips to ensure the children – and family – enjoy pleasant and memorable celebrations this holiday season:

Plan ahead. Parents should plan their holiday festivities as best as they can around their time-sharing schedule – always keeping in mind the best interests of the children.

Split the day. If the families traditionally celebrate Christmas day, split the day in half, with one parent getting Christmas morning one year, and afternoon / evening the next.

Split the holidays. If parties celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, alternating them each year with the children allows each parent to celebrate with the children evenly.

Split the holidays, part II. With eight days, Hanukkah gives families eight opportunities to celebrate. Parents can have their main celebration on any day and arrange each year prior to the holiday how to split the days for religious celebrations and gift giving.

Accommodate out-of-town family. If one parent’s extended family has flown in for the holidays, the other parent can agree to relax time-sharing. While grandparents have no inherent rights regarding timesharing, if they are in town, families can coordinate with one another regarding holiday time-sharing.

Travel time. It’s OK for one parent to make travel plans without the children if it is not his or her year for the holiday with the children.

Celebrate together. Ex-spouses can celebrate with one another and the children if it is an important family ritual – and the parents can get along.

Be mindful of the children – and traditions. Try to observe or maintain traditions important to the kids. Don’t ruin the holidays for them with unnecessary shuffling back and forth or tension between parties. Be flexible. Have fun.

“No hard and fast family law rules dictate how holidays should be handled,” Finkel said. “So long as there is no tension or fighting between the parties that would upset the children, celebrate the holidays and leave the children with smiles on their faces.”

Digital communications, like email, instant messaging and increasingly text messaging using a wireless phone, has opened new lines of communication between people.

Sometimes the wrong message sent to the wrong person can harm your case.

Some people in the process of divorce may text message their spouse, friends or even a lover with whom they’re having an affair. They may inadvertently reveal intentions, intimate details and even negotiation strategies. Once it’s been sent, they hit “Delete” and think the message is gone forever.

Imagine the surprise when a “deleted” message shows up as evidence in court. The harm and embarrassment can be irreparable.

How can this happen? Hitting “Delete” isn’t enough to erase a conversation. The phone company often retains texts for up to 30 days. In a divorce scenario, those records can be requested or subpoenaed into evidence.

Though case law is evolving in the area of digital communications, this much is accepted: An authentic text message carries much the same evidentiary weight before a judge or mediator as a letter or email. Produced in court, it can burden or benefit one side’s case.

If you’re in or facing divorce proceedings, consider these tips before texting:

- If you intend to text message any settlement details to your spouse, clear the message with your divorce attorney first.

- If you believe your spouse has been texting a lover, suggest your attorney request all text messages from opposing counsel or request a subpoena from a judge if texts have been deleted from the wireless phone. Sooner, the better, as the phone company often purges texts from its system after 30 days.

- Use texts to show your good intentions. Texts can leave a “paper trail” of how one party was trying to encourage settlement or present reasonable terms that would reduce fees by keeping the divorce out of the courtroom.

In the digital age, remember there now are three sides to every divorce story: His, hers, and what’s being stored by the phone company.

Why? Traditionally, the father worked outside the home, and the mother was the at-home parent.

Much has changed. Many mothers work outside the home, and parenting duties and responsibilities now are evenly split between both parents.

It seemed it was time for the law to change.

Last year, the Florida Legislature did just that. It rewrote Chapter 61 of the Florida Family Law Statutes to, among other things, redefine how the courts were to view roles of each parent. As of October 1, 2008, Florida law required “that each minor child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or the marriage of the parties is dissolved.” It goes on to “encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys of childrearing.”

The goal was – and is – to keep both parents involved in the child’s life. This includes each parents’ involvement in and conversations about decisions regarding such issues as doctor and medical treatment, religious observance, school, trips and vacations, camp, child care facilities, sports and extra curricular activities, and even psychological care. As minor children become adolescents and teens, the parents stay equally involved.

It has been our experience that parents seeking divorce were misinformed about their roles in their children’s lives. Some mothers felt the role of “primary” or custodial parent granted them sole responsibility in the decision-making process. The law’s original language wasn’t intended to grant such responsibility or favoritism to one parent over the other. But for years, that’s the way it was interpreted – and often abused – by parents. In many cases, kids are used as leverage in the parents’ acrimonious struggle for superiority in the divorce process.

So the Legislature removed any confusion. It removed the phrase primary residential or custodial parent. The truth is, neither party has any inherent priority unless a judge ruled such in situations of abuse, neglect, or egregious domestic violence.

The law hasn’t really changed. Just the language has. Now, mom and dad are simply parents with an equal role in the care and rearing of their children. Neither has a presumption of being “better for the kids. Each has “timesharing,” and neither has “custody.”

The Florida Legislature’s change brought the laws into the modern era. Today’s families are better for it.