For many, Facebook is a compelling and engaging social media network. For those facing divorce, Facebook, Twitter, even YouTube and Flickr are inviting places to share details about your experiences: your separation, social life, maybe new-found freedom and even “hot dates.”

All a family law attorney can advise is: Be careful what you post.

A recent article on Facebook, social media and divorce called Facebook and divorce a “flammable situation.” For good reason. The piece likened Facebook to marriage’s other bookend to eHarmony. “The world’s most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage.”

People are finding old flames, pursuing new relationships, and posting juicy details and pictures about their dalliances and flirtations — and unwittingly giving their spouse’s divorce lawyer fuel to destroy their case and reputation in the case. Even a case for timesharing can be damaged: One parent posted his parental frustrations — details opposing counsel used against him.

Some 81 percent of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen more cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). “Facebook holds the distinction of being the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence, with 66% citing it as the primary source,” the AAML wrote [ http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/big-surge-in-social-networking-evidence-says-survey-of-nations-top-divorce-lawyers-84025732.html ]. Following Facebook among survey respondents are MySpace (15%), Twitter (5%), and other social media services (14%).

With scrutiny — and the desire for evidence — heightened, examination grows more intense. Here’s how to enjoy social media without sabotaging your divorce case:

- Consider each post as your spouse, opposing counsel, mediator or judge might view it. Even status updates or comments you consider tame might seem tawdry to others.

- Avoid posting inappropriate images from dates or outings. Pictures tell tales you may prefer not be told. Even if otherwise innocent, they can be misinterpreted by a spouse on the hunt for evidence to support their case.

- Avoid flirtatious or questionable behavior in public. The combination of camera phones and Facebook can make even friendly encounters appear damning in the court of social media.

- When in question, don’t post. There will be plenty of time to enjoy — and post about — your single lifestyle once your divorce is final.

- Watch status updates about — or by — your kids. Spouses often monitor kids’ experiences with their other parent via social media. Frustrations vented by you or your kids can be used against you (even if taken out of context). Without appearing like a snooping parent, vet their updates to ensure you’re not cast in an inappropriate light.

Unlike other states, where juries may determine divorce, Florida law has judges — not juries — setting the outcome of divorce cases that go to trial. Many experienced judges understand how Facebook is a part of modern life, and may give wide interpretation to otherwise incriminating “evidence” counsel may present. To that end, spouses can hurt their own case by trying too hard to hurt the other.

It’s been said that discretion is the better part of valor. Enjoy your social media experience. Just beware how status updates may affect your marital status or case’s outcome.

And sometimes, after months or years of bad chemistry and a relationship turning sour, there is no surprise at all.

It’s in those situations – when you believe that separation or divorce might be coming – that it’s best to prepare for separation and divorce.

If you’re expecting to file for divorce from your spouse, or if you believe your spouse might be preparing to serve you with papers, here’s how to be prepared…

* Obtain originals or make copies of all vital financial records and documents. This includes statements for checking and saving accounts, investment and retirement accounts, real estate holdings, life insurance, tax returns, and other assets. Don’t expect that your spouse will make access to those documents simple.

* Plan how to tell the children. This is best done by both spouses, with no blame assigned, no financial issues discussed, and only the kids’ best interests in mind. Consider hiring a family counselor to assist in the process. It’s important to minimize the shock and maintain normalcy as much as possible.

* If you and your spouse anticipate remaining on good terms once separation has occurred and divorce proceedings are under way, discuss maintenance of bills during the process. Who will live in the residence? How will timesharing be worked out? The children remaining in the residence, if possible, can help keep their lives stable.

* Be familiar with your rights and responsibilities during and after a divorce. Every situation is different and it is a mistake to rely on the advice of your friends who have been through a divorce. While well meaning, those friends are not attorneys and more often than not, give bad advice.

Sometimes, divorce is unexpected. At other times, you can see it coming. Either way, maintaining a sense of normalcy – while protecting your best interests and those of your children – can heighten your chances for the least disruptive outcome.

Below are four articles on the topic of finances, homes and divorce.

Fifteen Critical Financial Mistakes in Divorce. This article outlines key issues to be aware of.

What No One Wants to Keep in Divorce. Falling house prices make the castle one no party in divorce wants to call his or her own.

Post-Divorce Finances. Getting your finances in order after the divorce is vital to recovery and long-term success.

Social Security and Divorce. If you were married for at least 10 years to someone who has earned benefits, you may be eligible to collect payments as well.

Year-end tax time requires special attention. When handled by an experienced family law attorney and a tax professional, returns can meet both the letter and spirit of federal or state filing guidelines. Since state law governs how divorce is handled, it’s important for Florida residents to hire a local divorce attorney.

Whether paying or receiving alimony, child support or mortgage costs, or settling real estate investments, the tax implications can be significant. Filing and reporting can be as simple as a line on a tax return, or as complicated as federal forms to be filed.

For example, an ex-spouse receiving monthly alimony of $2,000 would simply include the income as a line-item on his or her tax return. Their ex-spouse consequently would enter the same amount as an expense on his or her return. No forms, like a W-2, are provided.

Child custody and timesharing has its own tax considerations. The parent with whom the child spends the majority of his or her overnights – that is, 183 of 365 nights a year – can claim the tax exemption and head of household on that child for the previous year. This is true even if both parents are wage earners and split child support costs. If one parent is the high wage earner and is current on child support, that parent may claim the exemption if agreed to by the other party. Since timesharing generally is negotiated into the settlement, this rarely varies from year to year. For those parents who have a near-even split of timesharing, they can swap the exemption, but not the head-of-household status. If there is more than one child, the parents can agree to split the exemptions attributable to each child.

Be sure that both don’t parents take the dependent exemption or claim head of household on a given year. If they do, it could audit issues with the IRS.

In the still volatile real estate market, claim a real estate deductions are important. If a couple is divorcing, or if the husband is making mortgage payments on the house the wife lives in, a judge can order the husband to make mortgage payments on top of child support. As a general rule, if one person is paying the mortgage and interest, he or she gets the deduction. If they’re splitting the payment, they split the deduction. If that’s the case, request two year-end interest-paid statements from the mortgage company.

The tax implications of divorce are varied and particular. A skilled family law attorney and an accountant can simplify the process and ensure reporting requirements are met.

Lost in much of the discussion is how this case likely would play out in divorce court. Moreover, this case provides various lessons in how marriage and divorce should be handled, regardless of whether the participants are celebrities.

While Ms. Nordegren apparently has pursued the counsel of Los Angeles divorce lawyer-to-the-rich and famous Sorrell Trope, there’s been no word of Mr. Woods’ counsel. If she has hired Mr. Trope, it’s advisable that Mr. Woods seek similarly high-caliber counsel.

If this marriage is destined to end in divorce, it’s likely that the case will be resolved quickly. Celebrity and athlete divorce can dramatically damage one’s public persona; paying more in a settlement in pursuit of expeditious closure often is advisable – and preferred over prolonged tabloid fodder.

Still, this could prove to be lengthy – and costly. Many have theorized on outcomes. From a divorce attorney’s perspective, the following are reasons for bringing this case to a quick end:

- Nip disclosure. This will keep a lid on disclosure; after all, anything entered into public record – including income, is open for all to see.

- Stop the presses. Once it’s final, the talk and pursuit by the paparazzi and tabloids likely will end – eventually.

- Tiger will be able to re-start his golf career. Once he’s on the golf course – and winning – again, many of his sponsors likely will come back on board.

The lessons of the Woods-Nordegren case should be strong and clear: Securing qualified legal counsel early on is an important act to ensure the party’s rights and interests are protected. While the presence of paparazzi and sponsors is uncommon among the common couple, quick closure often brings a chance to move on with one’s life.

Simply put: Under Florida law, which by virtue of their primary residence in the state is the laws under which the pre-nuptial agreement and any divorce likely will be applied, this could be relatively cut-and-dry, and quick to closure. Why?

Regardless of the outcome, this case brings the importance of a well-crafted pre-nuptial agreement front and center. Pre-nuptial agreements can protect the assets and rights of both parties in a marriage.

Challenging the pre-nup in Florida requires 1. There not to have been adequate financial disclosure, or, 2. Ms. Nordegren to have signed the agreement under duress. It’s not likely that the pre-nup was presented to Ms. Nordegren within days of their October 2004 wedding. Additionally, whomever Mr. Woods engaged as counsel to draft the agreement certainly would have provided sufficient disclosure to ensure the agreement couldn’t be nullified on such grounds.

Since there has been no discussion of a challenge to the pre-nuptial agreement, some have surmised that it is not in dispute.

Given that Ms. Nordegren apparently has pursued the counsel of Los Angeles divorce lawyer Sorrell Trope, it’s not likely Mr. Trope would challenge the pre-nup in California court – assuming the Golden State was found to have jurisdiction. History and precedence has shown that California courts strongly uphold existing pre-nuptial agreements.

Still, should divorce be pursued, whether any settlement meets the terms of the pre-nup is questionable. To forestall any chance that public notoriety will cost him more than what he pays is wife, Mr. Woods may decide it’s better to pay more and get closure.

Will Mr. Woods’ philandering behavior play a role in altering the terms? It depends on the language. It’s unlikely that the attorney who wrote the pre-nup would have provided that an extra-marital affair would be grounds for contesting the terms of the agreement, which would result in a greater distribution of assets to Ms. Nordegren.

How will child support be affected by the pre-nup? Not at all. In Florida, child support, parental responsibility, and time sharing cannot be determined in a pre-nuptial agreement. Rather, at the time of the divorce, the court determines the appropriate child support figure based on a guideline formula.

Quick closure to the case – whether through the couple re-uniting or seeking divorce – likely will highlight the importance of a well-crafted pre-nuptial agreement.

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In this interview with E! Online, Florida divorce and family-law attorney Barry Finkel details what Elin Nordegren’s strategy might be.

“You’re saying to Tiger’s attorneys, if we don’t get what we want, we’re going to challenge the prenup,” divorce and family-law attorney Barry Finkel tells us. “It’s business.”

As we were saying…

We asked Finkel to walk us through possible scenarios for a Woods-Nordegren divorce. Finkel practices in Florida, which is key because that’s where the Woodses had their Thanksgiving blowout, and in our book, forever established their residency. Home is, after all, where the biggest fights are.
In Florida divorces, equitable distribution rules. The concept means a couple’s stuff can be divided 50-50—unless it’s not. In other words, halvsies are not guaranteed.

Conventional wisdom says Nordegren will file in California, where the couple has a home, and where even-steven community property is the way. But Finkel reminds that the couple’s prenup might have already established that no matter where the divorce is filed, the laws of Florida (or whatever other state was agreed to) are applied.

Another item a prenup would have locked in, of course, is what it’ll cost to get out. One report, the lowball version, says Nordegren was guaranteed $20 million if the marriage lasted 10 years. Another report, the ka-ching! version, put the prenup’s worth to Nordegren at $300 million, or half of Woods’ reported $600 million fortune.

While it seems like prenups are challenged every day, they are, as a rule, upheld every day, too. According to Finkel, the only instances that’ll get a prenup tossed are if (a) the agreement is proved to have been made under duress, or (b) one party is found to have misrepresented what his superstar self was worth. As you’ll notice there is no option for (c) one party overly enjoyed the company of cocktail waitresses.

“She can’t come in and say, ‘He cheated on me; I want to challenge the prenup,’” Finkel says.

No, she can’t come into the court and say that. But her lawyers don’t have to go into court to make their client’s wishes known. Says Finkel, “They’re going to try to get her as much as they can.”

And that goes double (quadruple? quintuple?) where the couple’s two children are concerned. Finkel wouldn’t guestimate how much child support Woods might end up owing, except for saying the two words no litigant wants to hear: “a lot.”

The children, frankly, give Nordegren all sorts of leverage, and not even in an evil, you’ll-never-see-them-again way. If Nordegren pursues a custody case, then everything that couldn’t come out in a divorce trial in a no-fault state like Florida (or California)—the cheating, the cocktail waitresses, etc.—could come out in a courtroom.

All of this leaves Woods, he of the dwindling endorsements and on-hold golf career, facing a decision: “The key to this case is to not clutter the court file with evidence of their lives,” Finkel says. “There’s value in keeping this out of the public eye. Is he going to have to pay more than what’s in the prenup agreement? Probably.”

He’ll be doing business. Just like his wife.

Or is a text a near-permanent trail that can be linked to indiscretions during a divorce?

Some in the process of divorce may text message their spouse, friends or even a lover with whom they’re having an affair. They may inadvertently reveal intentions, intimate details and even negotiation strategies. Once it’s been sent, they hit “Delete” and think the message is gone forever. Wrong.

This can become a near-permanent embarrassment during divorce negotiations. Watch as Barry I. Finkel is interviewed on the topic of texting and divorce.

The holidays are a festive time for a family to gather and spend memorable moments together – even if that family has been split by divorce.

Just plan ahead – and plan to cooperate.

“From Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanzaa, each family’s holiday traditions are different. The common thread is spending time together,” said Barry Finkel, a Fort Lauderdale, Florida, family law attorney. “As long as parents work together, the divorce settlement’s child custody or timesharing arrangement can be flexible enough to reflect and respect these differences and traditions.”

Follow these tips to ensure the children – and family – enjoy pleasant and memorable celebrations this holiday season:

Plan ahead. Parents should plan their holiday festivities as best as they can around their time-sharing schedule – always keeping in mind the best interests of the children.

Split the day. If the families traditionally celebrate Christmas day, split the day in half, with one parent getting Christmas morning one year, and afternoon / evening the next.

Split the holidays. If parties celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, alternating them each year with the children allows each parent to celebrate with the children evenly.

Split the holidays, part II. With eight days, Hanukkah gives families eight opportunities to celebrate. Parents can have their main celebration on any day and arrange each year prior to the holiday how to split the days for religious celebrations and gift giving.

Accommodate out-of-town family. If one parent’s extended family has flown in for the holidays, the other parent can agree to relax time-sharing. While grandparents have no inherent rights regarding timesharing, if they are in town, families can coordinate with one another regarding holiday time-sharing.

Travel time. It’s OK for one parent to make travel plans without the children if it is not his or her year for the holiday with the children.

Celebrate together. Ex-spouses can celebrate with one another and the children if it is an important family ritual – and the parents can get along.

Be mindful of the children – and traditions. Try to observe or maintain traditions important to the kids. Don’t ruin the holidays for them with unnecessary shuffling back and forth or tension between parties. Be flexible. Have fun.

“No hard and fast family law rules dictate how holidays should be handled,” Finkel said. “So long as there is no tension or fighting between the parties that would upset the children, celebrate the holidays and leave the children with smiles on their faces.”

Digital communications, like email, instant messaging and increasingly text messaging using a wireless phone, has opened new lines of communication between people.

Sometimes the wrong message sent to the wrong person can harm your case.

Some people in the process of divorce may text message their spouse, friends or even a lover with whom they’re having an affair. They may inadvertently reveal intentions, intimate details and even negotiation strategies. Once it’s been sent, they hit “Delete” and think the message is gone forever.

Imagine the surprise when a “deleted” message shows up as evidence in court. The harm and embarrassment can be irreparable.

How can this happen? Hitting “Delete” isn’t enough to erase a conversation. The phone company often retains texts for up to 30 days. In a divorce scenario, those records can be requested or subpoenaed into evidence.

Though case law is evolving in the area of digital communications, this much is accepted: An authentic text message carries much the same evidentiary weight before a judge or mediator as a letter or email. Produced in court, it can burden or benefit one side’s case.

If you’re in or facing divorce proceedings, consider these tips before texting:

- If you intend to text message any settlement details to your spouse, clear the message with your divorce attorney first.

- If you believe your spouse has been texting a lover, suggest your attorney request all text messages from opposing counsel or request a subpoena from a judge if texts have been deleted from the wireless phone. Sooner, the better, as the phone company often purges texts from its system after 30 days.

- Use texts to show your good intentions. Texts can leave a “paper trail” of how one party was trying to encourage settlement or present reasonable terms that would reduce fees by keeping the divorce out of the courtroom.

In the digital age, remember there now are three sides to every divorce story: His, hers, and what’s being stored by the phone company.