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Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade, Father’s Day and Timesharing Post-Divorce

While Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat didn’t bring home the NBA hardware, this Fort Lauderdale family law attorney gives him a much more important and impressive award: “Father of the Year.”

Dwyane Wade (courtesy Lucy Nicholson - Reuters-Landov)The divorced father of two young boys, Wade recently wrote an article in Newsweek magazine discussing his successful effort to win sole custody of his sons.

The NBA superstar wrote, “I can’t say what we’ll do for Father’s Day, because since my sons came to live with me about two months ago, every day has been like Father’s Day. I just want people—men, and men of color in particular—to hear my story and know that their children need them and that it’s their responsibility to be there for them. We have to step up as men and do our part. There are no excuses.”

For any father, that’s an important message.

Other thoughts to keep in mind…

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Divorce, Custody, Parental Illness and Children’s Need for ‘Normal’ Lives

Whether you’re a divorced parent in Fort Lauderdale facing custody issues, a South Florida family law attorney, or a casual observer, a recent article raised significant questions about custody, timesharing and illness.

In a bitter custody battle, a Chicago father convinced the court to grant him full custody of his two children because his wife, who lives in North Carolina, is fighting stage four breast cancer. The kids were to relocate — and leave their mother behind.

The article was enough to enrage some parents — and make others nod in agreement. In the story, the father argued the kids needed stability. The mother unsuccessfully argued that she herself was well enough to provide a stable home to the kids, ages 11 and 5. The wife is appealing.

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South Florida Single Dads Exerting Their Rights for Custody, Timesharing

Across Weston, Fort Lauderdale and all of South Florida, dads of divorce, separation or other situations often find themselves fighting an uphill battle to gain time sharing or custody rights with their children.

It’s a battle that’s well worth it, as Miami Heat basketball star Dwyane Wade said, “You need to fight to be in your kids’ lives sometimes.”

South Florida family law attorney Barry I. Finkel is quoted in this South Florida Parenting story on the importance of fighting that battle — and the spoils of victory: the glory of time spent in children’s lives.

On the eve of Father’s Day 2011, make sure you live up to the spirit and meaning of the day.

South Florida Divorce, Family Law Firm Names New Associate

The Daily Business Review recently had a brief about The Law Offices of Barry I. Finkel P.A., a South Florida divorce and family law practice serving Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Boca Raton, Weston and all of southeast Florida, naming Jennifer B. Billings as an associate.

Billings had been a paralegal of the firm. She earned her a law degree from Nova Southeastern University and a bachelor’s degree from Florida Atlantic University.

South Florida Family Law Realities: One Take on Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Child of an Affair, and the Duty to Support

News of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s and Maria Shriver’s divorce caught many off guard. They seemed like a storybook couple. When word broke of his extra-marital affair, connecting the dots was much simpler.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Maria ShriverThen, the potential complexities grew much deeper.

Putting aside the implications for Arnold’s and Maria’s young children (coping and recovery certainly will be tough for their kids), issues raised from this news include tricky paternity matters, including Arnold’s duty to support the child.

This includes how to establish true “paternity” – especially if the mother was married when she had the child, and if any husband (none the wiser regarding the child’s true lineage) treated the boy as his own. Much of this is unknown. As such, we’re speculating on a hypothetical situation.

The issue of “presumption of legitimacy” of a child of the marriage weighs large in most paternity cases. (more…)

Myths, Realities of South Florida “Do It Yourself Divorce”

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel recently had an article on the apparent rise in do-it-yourself divorces in Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Boca Raton and across South Florida. As family law attorneys and divorce lawyers who work with clients facing marriage separation and divorce every day, we believe the article offered some good insights and advice.

We believe readers need a little more insight regarding the realities of the “simplified divorce,” especially as the number of such divorces rises – almost doubling in Palm Beach County and up 20 percent in Broward County, the article notes. Overall, these make up about one in 10 divorce cases in the two counties, the paper reported.

A “simplified divorce” is a legal definition relating to a couple with no home and no children. They have nothing in common other than a marriage they want to dissolve. They might not even have joint banking accounts. It can be the simplest form of divorce. Add children or assets, and complexity grows in kind.

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iPhone, Google Android Tracking: Implications for Family Law, Divorce Cases

Consumer advocates and technologists were all a’twitter when word leaked that Apple and Google had in their popular wireless phones applications that tracked users every move and location.

spy-on-iphoneAnother example of Big Brother’s incessant invasion of privacy via iPhones and Android, they protested.

Yet, what about couples in divorce? For divorce lawyers and family law attorneys, the implications are less dramatic.

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Facebook Fallacy and the Divorce Debate: Is Facebook Bad for Marriage? Only if a Spouse is Bad for Facebook

First, statisticians said Facebook led to one in five divorces. Then, realists reviewed the numbers and found it was nowhere near that figure. In the article, Irreconcilable Claim: Facebook Causes 1 in 5 Divorces, the Wall Street Journal reviewed a recent debate about whether Facebook could be linked to 20% of divorces.

While the numbers were refuted, the truth is: Facebook may reveal details of a broken marriage. In fairness to social media, if marital problems exist, though, they didn’t begin with Facebook. The social media service – with its public photographs and open revelation of topics that might previously have remained private – brings issues to a head.

If a spouse is suspicious, he’ll search Facebook. If a spouse has a good divorce lawyer, she’ll use what’s found as corroborating evidence.

Our advice:

- Watch what you reveal on social media. If discussion of yourself in a compromising situation, or photos with your lover on a romantic vacation, will hurt your case, don’t post such content.

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South Florida Divorce: Divorcees Left to Struggle With Change, ‘Humiliation’ and Recovery

South Florida Parenting recently ran an article by Melissa L. Tichauer, who was coming to grips with her separation and divorce. Her feelings — of humiliation, of being an outcast in a community known for its “family lifestyle — left Tichauer wondering if she was unique or different. As divorce and family law attorneys, we also advise what she did next: With the help of family therapists, Tichauer realized she was not unique or alone. Divorce is a path of change in a constantly changing world. Below is her story…

“I’ll never forget the exact moment I realized my marriage was officially over. It was a Tuesday morning in January — the day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I remember the sentence I uttered to my sister that morning on the telephone: “I’m not going to work today; I think I’m getting a divorce.” That evening, while my son and I were at a friend’s house, my husband moved out of our home.

“I was ashamed and humiliated and felt like an outcast and a failure immediately following my separation. In the family-oriented community I lived in, I might as well have been wearing a scarlet letter. It was as if I was no longer part of the norm. But licensed marriage and family therapists Dr. Debbie Swayman, DMFT, LMFT, and Karen Kaplan, MS. Ed., LMFT, of Family Therapy Associates, P.A., said what I was feeling was normal.

“You have to recognize that life is going to change,” said Swayman, who with Kaplan co-authored the court-mandated Proactive Parenting and Divorce class for parents of minor children involved in a divorce. “It’s about finding a new normal. There’s no right or wrong. It’s what’s right for you or your child.”

Read the entire story here.

South Florida Divorce, Family Law & Taxes: How Will Tax Time Affect You?

It’s tax time. As if taxes weren’t perplexing enough, divorcees have numerous considerations when calculating income and expenses – and filing tax returns.

Year-end tax time requires special attention. When handled by an experienced family law attorney and a tax professional, returns can meet both the letter and spirit of federal or state filing guidelines. Since state law governs how divorce is handled, it’s important for Florida residents to hire a local divorce attorney.

Whether paying or receiving alimony, child support or mortgage costs, or settling real estate investments, the tax implications can be significant. Filing and reporting can be as simple as a line on a tax return, or as complicated as federal forms to be filed. Read this article by family law attorney Barry Finkel to learn more about how to be best prepared for tax time.

Divorce Newsfeed

- Action News Jacksonville – March 1, 2012 - Alimony Outrage: Demanding Changes in Tallahassee Many Florida citizens who pay alimony say they are victims of Florida’s alimony laws. Under the current laws, there are 6 types of alimony awards. Most of them are temporary, the purpose of which is to aid in the transition from married to single life. But it’s permanent alimony—due every month until the payer dies—that has so many people outraged. It doesn’t end when someone retires, or becomes disabled. It doesn’t end when the ex-spouse meets someone new, or evenmoves in with someone new. And sometimes, it’s awarded in cases that seem to go against common sense.

- The New York Times – March 1, 2012 - More Americans Rejecting Marriage at 50 – And Beyond A growing number of baby boomers are venturing into old age on their own, a shift that is changing the traditional portrait of older Americans. Over the past 20 years, the divorce rate among baby boomers has surged by more than 50 percent. At the same time, more adults are remaining single. The shift is changing the traditional portrait of older Americans: About a third of adults ages 46 through 64 were divorced, separated or had never been married in 2010, compared with 13 percent in 1970. Sociologists expect those numbers to rise sharply in coming decades as younger people, who have far lower rates of marriage than their elders, move into middle age.

- Daily Mail – January 1, 2012 - Russell Brand and Katy Perry Split After 'She Put Fame Ahead of Children' Russell Brand’s marriage to Katy Perry collapsed as he became exasperated over her refusal to put her career on hold to start a family, it was revealed yesterday.

- MSNBC – Tallahassee, Florida – December 7, 2011 - Members of Florida Alimony Reform Group Tell Their Personal Stories of Hardship and Unfair Treatment to Florida's House Civil Justice Subcommittee More than a dozen members of Florida Alimony Reform (FAR) testified in favor of a bill that would update Florida's antiquated alimony laws. FAR members spoke movingly before the House Civil Justice Subcommittee about the extraordinary hardships they endure paying permanent lifetime alimony that does not end even at retirement, even when payers are disabled or forced to retire by age.

LA Times – Los Angeles, California – October 31, 2011 - Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries: What Factors Led to Divorce? As extravagant as the wedding was and as public as the divorce has already become, Kim and Kris would not be the first celebrity couple to call it quits so soon after tying the knot.

- The Miami Herald – Miami, Florida – June 6, 2011 - Websites help divorced couples manage child custody and communication — minus the animosity over the past several years, a spate of high-tech websites are helping fractured families manage their lives in cyberspace, without ever having to raise a voice or pay a lawyer. Divorce mediators say the websites add efficiency and eliminate the emotion that continues long after the legal war is over.

- The Sun-Sentinel – Fort Lauderdale, Florida – May 5, 2010 - Angela Neave Co-Chairs Legal Aid Service of Broward County Annual Fundraiser on May 14 “You've Been Served" is the theme for Legal Aid Service of Broward County's 9th Annual "For the Public Good" celebrating 36 years of securing justice and changing lives. The event committee co-chairperson is Angela Renee Neave, Esq., of the Law Offices of Barry I. Finkel, P.A. The event will take place at the Hilton Fort Lauderdale Marina located on 1881 SE 17th Street Causeway on May 14. The event begins at 6 p.m. with cocktails and silent auction followed by dinner and awards.

- The Huffington Post – February 28, 2010 - Committing Adultery? You Could Go to Jail So, did you notice what I noticed as Tiger Woods delivered his 14 minute nationally televised mea culpa last week? While he was busy admitting, "I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated ..." What jumped out at me was what Tiger didn't mention. He confessed he'd broken the law. Adultery is a crime. I know that sounds odd and old fashioned. But the truth is that more than 20 states, including Florida where Wood's keeps his primary residence, still have laws on the books against cheating on your spouse.

- The Tampa Tribune / Tampa, FL – February 18, 2010 - Facebook Plus Divorce Equals Flammable Situation If eHarmony is the Web site bringing lovebirds to the threshold of marriage, Facebook is the one showing up for the divorce. The world's most popular social media site is revolutionizing the divorce experience, pouring toxin into virtually every stage of a collapsing marriage and rekindling old flames into blazing affairs.

- USAToday – January 19, 2010 - Marriage Benefits Men Economically, Too If you think women still reap more economic benefit than men do from marriage, you may be living in the past. Today, men are better off economically because their wives are, too, suggests a new study on the economics of marriage by the Pew Research Center.

- People – January 12, 2010 - Why Did Chris Evert and Greg Norman Divorce? The split between tennis star Chris Evert and golfing great Greg Norman, whose 15-month marriage ended in divorce last month, was a result of stress and strain over her teenage boys needing their mother, according to someone who observed the situation. 

- Fox News Online – January 11, 2010 - How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce With roughly 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce in the United States, it is all too common for children to endure all that comes along with families breaking up. Divorce can be scary and sad for all involved, but it can have a particular and lasting effect on children. Therefore, it's important to approach the subject delicately. We spoke with rabbi and psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, who created the widely successful "Sandlecastles Program". He gave his tips on how to inclusively talk to your children to ensure they cope with divorce in a healthy and productive way. 

- Daily Finance – December 28, 2009 - Courts in Crisis: Recession Drives Caseloads Up, Budgets Down Court systems nationwide are facing two forces that could collide and create a major crisis in 2010. Caseloads driven by the recession are flooding the courts at the same time as judicial systems around the country are dealing with budget cuts. In some states, those budget cuts could slow the flow of paperwork and possibly even result in postponement of some trials. Courts are starting to see the full brunt of cases involving recession-related issues…Increasingly, what the courts are seeing are cases in which the root causes are families in crisis after losing their homes and jobs.

- New York Daily News – December 28, 2009 - NJ dad David Goldman will 'never understand' Brazilian family that fought him The New Jersey father reunited with his 9-year-old son after a bitter divorce and custody battle in Brazil says the boy has been adjusting well to his return to America – despite video footage taken before their reunion showing Sean Goldman crying in the arms of his stepfather.

- Boston Herald.com – December 27, 2009 - Will prenup stand up in Tiger divorce case? I hate to sound shallow, but do you think Tiger’s prenup will get thrown out because he was messing around? In order for a PMA to be enforced, Tiger had to make a full and fair disclosure of all of his assets and liabilities. That’s because Elin cannot waive her rights to something she did not know about...

- The South Florida Sun-Sentinel – December 15, 2009 - Report: Elin Nordegren plans to leave Tiger Woods People magazine is reporting that Elin Nordegren plans to divorce Tiger Woods. In its issue that arrives at newsstands on Friday, the magazine quotes a source close to Nordegren as saying, "She plans to leave Tiger." It cites another source as saying, "She's made up her mind. There's nothing to think about: he's never going to change."

- Daily Business Review – November 12, 2009 - Text Messages Can Spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E Divorce lawyers have found a new smoking gun to wave around in court: Text messages. Infidelity, bad parenting and threats - you name the issue in marital disputes, family law attorneys say, and the evidence can be found in text messsages sent over handheld gadgets.

- Earth Times – November 3, 2009 - Avoid Texting Marital, Extra-Marital or Negotiation Details - Or Risk Texts Becoming Evidence In the age of digital media and communications, there now are three sides to every divorce story: His, hers, and what's being stored by the phone company.

- Florida Today / Melbourne, Fla. – October 26, 2009 – Experts: Poor Economy Leads to violence Experts say tough economic times in general tend to introduce additional stressors in an already tense domestic situation. When abusive partners are laid off from work, experts say the severity and frequency of violent assaults tend to jump because the abuser is home more often.

- The Huffington Post – May 2008 – Nine Signs of a Cheating Spouse Financial infidelity is bad, but it's even worse when it is used to engage in an extramarital affair. Ruth Houston, the author of "Is He Cheating On You? 829 Telltale Signs," says to look for nine behaviors that may be indicators of a spouse's infidelity, starting with credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not receive; unauthorized or surprise withdrawals from joint bank accounts; or deposit slips or bank statements that indicate the existence of a previously unknown checking or savings account in the wife's/husband's name only.

- Squidoo – How To Leave Your Husband Everyone has different reasons for contemplating something so drastic as leaving a spouse. It could be due to abuse, infidelity, lack of respect, or it could have been a mistake to just get married in the first place. If you are finding yourself asking the question of how to leave your husband, know you are not alone. Read here to learn more…

- MSN Money.com Get Real: Marriage is a Business Put aside the romantic notion that love conquers all -- and pull out your calculators. Successful partnerships require a plan, a CFO (usually) and regular progress reports.

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