Watch and learn how this important element of family law may affect Ms. Bullock and other adoptive families facing divorce.

The holidays are a festive time for a family to gather and spend memorable moments together – even if that family has been split by divorce.

Just plan ahead – and plan to cooperate.

“From Christmas to Hanukkah to Kwanzaa, each family’s holiday traditions are different. The common thread is spending time together,” said Barry Finkel, a Fort Lauderdale, Florida, family law attorney. “As long as parents work together, the divorce settlement’s child custody or timesharing arrangement can be flexible enough to reflect and respect these differences and traditions.”

Follow these tips to ensure the children – and family – enjoy pleasant and memorable celebrations this holiday season:

Plan ahead. Parents should plan their holiday festivities as best as they can around their time-sharing schedule – always keeping in mind the best interests of the children.

Split the day. If the families traditionally celebrate Christmas day, split the day in half, with one parent getting Christmas morning one year, and afternoon / evening the next.

Split the holidays. If parties celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, alternating them each year with the children allows each parent to celebrate with the children evenly.

Split the holidays, part II. With eight days, Hanukkah gives families eight opportunities to celebrate. Parents can have their main celebration on any day and arrange each year prior to the holiday how to split the days for religious celebrations and gift giving.

Accommodate out-of-town family. If one parent’s extended family has flown in for the holidays, the other parent can agree to relax time-sharing. While grandparents have no inherent rights regarding timesharing, if they are in town, families can coordinate with one another regarding holiday time-sharing.

Travel time. It’s OK for one parent to make travel plans without the children if it is not his or her year for the holiday with the children.

Celebrate together. Ex-spouses can celebrate with one another and the children if it is an important family ritual – and the parents can get along.

Be mindful of the children – and traditions. Try to observe or maintain traditions important to the kids. Don’t ruin the holidays for them with unnecessary shuffling back and forth or tension between parties. Be flexible. Have fun.

“No hard and fast family law rules dictate how holidays should be handled,” Finkel said. “So long as there is no tension or fighting between the parties that would upset the children, celebrate the holidays and leave the children with smiles on their faces.”

Why? Traditionally, the father worked outside the home, and the mother was the at-home parent.

Much has changed. Many mothers work outside the home, and parenting duties and responsibilities now are evenly split between both parents.

It seemed it was time for the law to change.

Last year, the Florida Legislature did just that. It rewrote Chapter 61 of the Florida Family Law Statutes to, among other things, redefine how the courts were to view roles of each parent. As of October 1, 2008, Florida law required “that each minor child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or the marriage of the parties is dissolved.” It goes on to “encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys of childrearing.”

The goal was – and is – to keep both parents involved in the child’s life. This includes each parents’ involvement in and conversations about decisions regarding such issues as doctor and medical treatment, religious observance, school, trips and vacations, camp, child care facilities, sports and extra curricular activities, and even psychological care. As minor children become adolescents and teens, the parents stay equally involved.

It has been our experience that parents seeking divorce were misinformed about their roles in their children’s lives. Some mothers felt the role of “primary” or custodial parent granted them sole responsibility in the decision-making process. The law’s original language wasn’t intended to grant such responsibility or favoritism to one parent over the other. But for years, that’s the way it was interpreted – and often abused – by parents. In many cases, kids are used as leverage in the parents’ acrimonious struggle for superiority in the divorce process.

So the Legislature removed any confusion. It removed the phrase primary residential or custodial parent. The truth is, neither party has any inherent priority unless a judge ruled such in situations of abuse, neglect, or egregious domestic violence.

The law hasn’t really changed. Just the language has. Now, mom and dad are simply parents with an equal role in the care and rearing of their children. Neither has a presumption of being “better for the kids. Each has “timesharing,” and neither has “custody.”

The Florida Legislature’s change brought the laws into the modern era. Today’s families are better for it.