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Taking care of yourself during the divorce

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. Deciding how time is shared with the children and how personal and/or business assets are divided can certainly add a high level of stress to the pressures of daily life. However, you can face a marital dissolution with dignity by making a smoother transition that is healthiest for everyone. Taking care of yourself in the process is just one way to accomplish that.

1. Be kind to yourself: You are human and experience emotions. They will arise and range from various stages of grief to anger, sadness or even different levels of fear-anxiety being one of them. By not beating yourself up over feeling those emotions and being kind to yourself during this time makes it easier to navigate the ins and outs of the divorce process.

2. Not a battlefield: Couples who approach divorce as a battle tend to have more negative experiences with the split. By not viewing it as an avenue to duke it out, couples can often complete a successful mediation and stay out of the court room all together. Mediation is often successful and can be emotionally satisfying, as well as beneficial to both parties and any children they may have.

3. It's okay to seek therapy: There are many facets to a divorce. Your attorney will be able to assist you with the legal aspect which may include custody and financial issues. However, he or she must remain objective to appropriately advocate for you and your children's best interests. Seeking services from a licensed psychologist is the best way to take care of the emotional side.

Seeing a psychologist will provide an outlet in a safe and confidential environment. A session will assist by reducing overall conflict and guide you through making difficult decisions. In some cases, seeing a psychologist with the soon-to-be ex-spouse to make coordinated decisions will further reduce overall conflict.

4. Take notes: It's very difficult to remember things you wanted to ask or issues you'd like to address when emotions are high and stress is involved. When you are calm, jot down what you'd like to discuss with your attorney so that you have a list available when it's time to meet. You can also keep a list of concerns you would like addressed at mediation or things you need to address with your spouse when you feel communicating face-to-face is too difficult.

5. Support and activities: Seek out the support of your friends and family to lean on. Spending time with those who care about you will ease the transition and help you cope.

Additionally, get involved with activities you enjoy or revisit ones you haven't explored in a while. Investigating and experiencing new interests will also be beneficial. Given that Boca Raton is the boating capital of the world, there are plenty of nautical excursions to explore. Take in the ocean breeze at the Fort Lauderdale beach, visit a museum or art gallery, go fishing or see a game. 

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