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Small steps toward a less stressful divorce (PART 2)

In our last post we began a discussion on how to make divorce a little less stressful. Unfortunately stress plays a key role in divorce, although it varies from person to person. These seemingly small steps may be helpful in curbing that stress.

Another step you can take to distance yourself emotionally from your ex is to communicate about your children only through email. In a recent Huffington Post article, one woman mentioned that she writes "H.E.A.R. emails" to her ex. In these emails they only discuss the topics of "health, education, activities and reinforcement of discipline" as they relate to the child. In this way parents do not have to keep in contact over the phone and can keep their emotions at bay.

Emails can also help you keep records of communication. In general that is a good rule to follow anyway. Make sure that you record everything during divorce, including custody arrangements and expenses. These can be very helpful not only throughout the divorce but after as well.

There will undoubtedly be arguments between the two of you. Every argument does not have to lead you to the courtroom though. Some parents have had a lot of success in using outside sources, such as mediation. You and your spouse might find a method like this useful whenever a conflict cannot be resolved.

In general, always remember that the children are first priority. This means they may need help from an outside source. That may mean reaching out to a psychologist or doing something like play therapy, if the child is young.

Finally, don't be stingy with thank-yous. Give them out freely, as any form of gratitude between ex-spouses can only improve the relationship. That may mean showing your ex-spouse gratitude for picking your child up from school every day or even thanking his or her new partner for his or her continued involvement with your child.

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