The key message, one that most family law attorneys try to tell their clients, is that both parties continue to work very hard to keep their problems out of the public eye. This divorce was effectuated with almost no fanfare – given the notoriety it gained at the beginning.

What’s more, as is common with many celebrity divorces, Elin apparently was offered a significant pay-off for a tell-all tale. She declined. This is an example of a family truly putting the children first.

Among the other lessons:

- The cost of infidelity is not quantifiable. We don’t know the deal they struck. Any prenuptial agreement probably shielded the lion’s share of Tiger’s assets. But the bad publicity certainly took a toll on his earning capacity. Infidelity is not worth the trouble. We’re confident that Tiger believes that in hindsight none of the ladies were worth what he paid in his career, his personal life, his financial life, and for his children.

- Never react. Even when angry, pause, calm down, and take an action. The press coverage of Elin hitting Tiger with a golf club probably was more hurtful and damaging to them than humorous to us. Even for average citizens, such knee-jerk reactions can result in police dispatch and arrests. Think about how your actions will affect your children, your life and that of the spouse you once loved. Always handle yourself with dignity.

- Avoid publicity. During this time in their lives, the couple could have benefited from less publicity – especially negative exposure – and more understanding. Their two small children have eyes upon them, and the very public breakdown will be forever recorded in print and online.

The key message: Use caution when writing status updates and other social media content. What you say online can come back to haunt you in court. (Finkel appears at 1:53 in the video)

Barry Finkel and Angela Neave (on right in image beneath YMCA caption) support Safe Swim.

Fort Lauderdale family law attorneys Barry Finkel and Angela Neave of B. Finkel P.A., appeared in Weston Lifestyles magazine as they took time out from the divorce and family law practice to support the YMCA of Broward County (Florida) Safe Swim Happy Hour along Las Olas Boulevard.

The event was created to support drowning awareness initiatives, which serve more than 7,000 children each year. According to the YMCA, children as young as six months of age can be taught to swim – and no child is too old to start learning.

“In South Florida, pools, lakes, canals and the ocean are fixtures on the landscape and our daily lives,” Finkel said. “It’s important that adults support these causes, and everyone takes the time to make sure children are safe in or near the water.”

But if your spouse, partner or boyfriend has committed a first act or threatened an act, act quickly to protect yourself and your children. Start by…

- Asking him to seek help. This can be in the form of anger management or marital counseling.

- Removing yourself from the home until help is sought. Sometimes, getting out of the violent situation can help diffuse it – at least momentarily.

- Call 911 and report the domestic violence to the police. Not only can the police also help diffuse a situation, the incident will be on record.

- File a Petition for Injunction for Protection Against Domestic Violence. This is done if you are in fear for your safety that he will perpetrate another act of violence against you or your minor children – or if he is threatening to do so. In Broward County, this can be done on the second floor at the Courthouse located downtown on 6th Street. Do not hesitate to do this. This should be done immediately after the threat or act of violence.

NEVER exacerbate the problem by taunting or teasing the batterer. Do not say things that your know will get him upset. Try to remove yourself from the situation and do not return home without an escort to help you retrieve your belongings and personal items.

Most importantly, DO NOT HESITATE TO TAKE ACTION. DO NOT BELIEVE HIS PROMISES TO CHANGE.

In Mr. Baldwin’s case, his voicemail message left for his daughter struck many as excessively harsh words directed toward a young child. Mr. Gibson’s words were scary and unsettling – especially when combined with reports of his battery upon the mother of his child.

Domestic abuse and violence doesn’t have to include battery – or being hit, kicked, struck by thrown objects, or even sexually assaulted unwillingly by your spouse or partner. It can be mental abuse that over time demeans or demoralizes you.

How should women handle domestic violence or threats of violence?

If you are the victim of domestic violence or abuse, you should:

- Seek the services of a domestic violence shelter. In South Florida, one organization is Women in Distress in Broward County. Such shelters provide group counseling, confidentially located shelters, children’s programs and work-related programs. The goal is to help victims of domestic violence escape the vicious cycle of violence, forgiveness, then repeat violence.

- Never leave your children behind. Protect them from becoming the next victims of abuse.

- Tell your friends and family. They often can help with advice, connections, or just a place for you and your children to stay to avoid a heated situation or escape a destructive relationship.

- Keep any evidence. If text or voicemail messages or letters include any threats or admissions of abuse, save them. If others have seen the threats or violent outbursts, ask them to serve as witnesses. This can support your claims and help you avoid a “he said/she said” situation.

- Seek counseling. Therapy and marriage counseling can help work you through some situations. It also can help you (and possibly your spouse or partner) discover and identify the pattern of batterers. In the end, you will learn how to extricate yourself from that pattern.

In the next blog, read about how to respond to threats or acts of violence.

A recent Wall Street Journal article on the place of prenuptial agreements among Baby Boomers — and others looking to protect existing assets — raises important questions.

As the article stated, “Baby boomers looking to protect their assets are increasingly turning to prenuptial agreements — legal contracts drawn up before a marriage that dictate what happens to assets in the event a couple should part ways, either by divorce or death.”

An interesting point about Baby Boomers who lost significant assets accumulated throughout a long career is that second marriages tend to bring up the subject, especially if one party has significant assets and adult children to whom they intend to leave their estate.

Pre-Nups are hopefully not the first time a couple talks about money and finances and how they plan to handle these items during the marriage, but it will certainly get the ball rolling. Discussing everyone’s assets, debts and what will stay with whom will allow for everyone to formulate realistic expectations about finances during the marriage.

In fact, money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. In fact, Mexico, cleverly requires couples to declare separate or community property on their marriage license. This forces the couple to discuss at the time of applying for the license how they plan to handle finances of the marriage. If one party insists on separate property and the other does not agree, he or she then can determine whether they intend to apply for marriage or not.

The U.S. could learn from this practice.

Pre-nups generally are drafted for people with money. Because of their usefulness in starting the discussion about marital finances, pre-nuptial agreements should almost be required by states issuing marriage licenses.

Another point about pre-nuptial agreements: if the law changes after the fact, a carefully crafted pre-nup may not protect certain provisions because of the change in law. A pre-nup will not shield an asset after a change in the law.

If you have any questions about how a pre-nup can protect your assets or your family’s inheritance, contact a family law or divorce attorney before you say, “I do.”

Yet, experts continue to offer advice and counsel. The Diane Rehm Show on National Public Radio yesterday devoted an hour to the topic. The segment, entitled “Starting Over After Late-Life Divorce,” included interviews with Andrew Cherlin, a Professor of Sociology and Public Policy at Johns Hopkins University and author of “The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family Today”; Janice Green, a family law practitioner in Austin, Texas, and author of the book, “Divorce After 50: Your Guide to the Unique Legal and Financial Challenges”; and Abigail Trafford, a journalist, columnist, and former health editor at “The Washington Post” and author of “Crazy Time” and “My Time.”

The piece focused on how “many long-term married couples are making the decision to go their separate ways — possibly for another two or three decades.” The hour explored “the unique challenges and opportunities of late-life divorce.”

The lesson: As people live longer, late-stage divorce should not be such a surprise — and often comes with less acrimony. But planning remains important to ensuring everyone’s rights are protected.

There are many options when it comes to saving for the expense of college, including prepaid college programs, 529 plans, other qualified tuition plans, or other investment or savings vehicles such as custodial accounts and trusts.

But as a South Florida divorce attorney and family law practice, we’ve learned there’s more to college plans. In this article, I look at how divorce affects the family’s college savings plans. Read more here in College Savings Plans – DadsDivorce.com.

According to a new book and its review on MSN, “Whether you are happily married now, or hoping to be one day, there’s one topic you’d probably rather not think about: divorce. Yet, most of us know at least one wedded couple who has split up. And then there’s that ominous 50 percent statistic, which often scares us into believing that a marriage’s survival is as subject to chance as whether a coin will flip heads or tails.”

The MSN writer spoke with licensed marriage and family therapist Shannon Fox and divorce attorney Celeste Liversidge, who authored the book Last One Down the Aisle Wins: 10 Keys to a Fabulous Single Life Now and an Even Better Marriage Later. In the story, they offer guidance on the seven worst deeds a divorcing couple can commit…

Read the entire article here.

“It is a tremendous honor to be recognized by my peers for this award,” said Neave, an associate at The Law Firm of Barry I. Finkel P.A. [ insert link www.bfinkelpa.com ]. “Receiving such an award is never about the award itself. It’s about the work that helped me gain the recognition. That’s where my focus lies – on achieving positive outcomes for my clients.”

Neave works closely with each client. She seeks to identify and analyze the issues and strategies vital to a successful outcome. A native of Southern California, Neave graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy from the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA). She earned her Juris Doctor from the Southwestern University School of Law. Neave decided to pursue the practice of law with a single goal in mind: To become a family and divorce lawyer focused on helping those facing the difficult challenges of failed marriages and a confusing legal system.

“Angela brings a special blend of empathy, understanding and cool legal thinking to every client’s situation,” said Barry Finkel, principal with the Fort Lauderdale law firm. “It’s a testament to her abilities and ongoing success that she has been recognized by those in the field and the publishers of Super Lawyers.”

At the Finkel Law Firm, Angela’s practice is predicated on the notion that the post-divorce family still must exist – despite its new form. Though custody issues are important and can be hotly contested, parents are counseled to remain mindful that they will continue to “co-parent” their children into adulthood. Both parents are encouraged to remain active and to welcome the other parent’s full participation. Both mother and father are expected to treat each other with respect during and after a divorce, especially when in the presence of children and their impressionable young minds.

From the beginning, children’s issues have been important to Angela. Since 2004, she has been involved with V-Day, a world event created to raise awareness and funds toward ending domestic violence against women and girls. She recently co-chaired for Legal Aid Service of Broward County’s For the Public Good fundraiser held. The event raised $124,000 – more than any previous year. All funds raised are earmarked for child-related cases, including school issues and foreclosures if children are involved, for example.

She also has teamed up with other Fort Lauderdale attorneys to speak for and develop a legal component for Women In Distress, a state-funded women’s shelter and rehabilitation program for victims of domestic violence and their children.

Neave was selected by Super Lawyers using a rigorous, multiphase process. Peer nominations and evaluations are combined with third-party research. She was evaluated on 12 indicators of peer recognition and professional achievement. The result is a credible, comprehensive and diverse listing of outstanding attorneys that can be used as a resource for attorneys and consumers searching for legal counsel.